Fairy
Fairy is what you might call a silent assassin. Looking at him you would think he’s a nice bloke. Then getting to know him you would be right. However, if challenge him to a game that’s anything except an introduction to the hobby you can expect no mercy.
Much like an assassin, his origins into the hobby are clouded in myth. I came to know Fairy in the ’90s when he began working as a red-shirt at Games Workshop with me. During many a slow day in the store, I was subjected to the wrath of the Fairy. I still believe if it wasn’t mandated that you had to lose to the customer in an intro game, he would have been thrilled to send them crying from the store with a loss.
Claim to Fame
Similar to The Stig there are many stories about Fairy floating around. Unlike Fury, most can be substantiated but there is a lot that makes you wonder. Let’s start with what we know are facts. Fairy has been playing on the competitive tournament scene since the ’90s across a range of systems including Warhammer Fantasy, Epic, War Machine, and Blood Bowl. He supported Fury with the Newcastle Legions club by running events, slow-grows and generally building hype. Fairy paints models to a fantastic standard. Honestly, I’m looking forward to seeing what he puts out this month for his Adeptus Titanicus legion. He doesn’t appear to have a man cave stash, yet still seems to have an unending supply of miniatures.
Fairy has won multiple tournaments through the years including old school Epic 40,000. However, more recently he has begun running them instead.
“I thought it was time to take a break from playing so other people had a chance to win some games.”
– Fairy
I offered Fairy a chance to show off some of his silverware today but he was so humble he declined. Which brings us to some of the unsubstantiated claims.
Some people say…
Fairy once at a spoonful of cinnamon powder. It was difficult but he did it. It’s claimed that one time, he repeatedly let off firecrackers in a GW store. No one was harmed and the store didn’t burn so he figures that it’s pretty funny. Some say Fairy has every victory tattooed on his balls. He either has big balls or a small number of victories. I’ll let you be the judge in the comments.
Rumour has it that Fairy broke a fellow gamer and crushed his hopes and dreams so badly that he left the hobby for over twenty years and is only just beginning to paint again.
“It was a pair of goblin spear chuckas that fucked up a unit of long beards as they slowly marched across the table. That was the straw that broke the camels back.”
– Fairy
Some say that is it was his smug smirk across the table asking every 5 minutes “Are you ok?” that actually did it and not the spear chuckas.
Hopefully, as this blog continues we can track down this poor, lost gamer and give them a chance to seek their revenge on Fairy.
If you know who it was, tag them on our social feeds so I can try and interview them and find out the truth.
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